BOUC (Belgian accent)
Monsieur Poirot! It is not a mere train that will carry you tonight, it is a legend. It runs like no other
vehicle on the earth. The fittings are from Paris, the paneling; Venice, the plates are from Rome and the
taps are from New York. The best food, the best beds, the best pillows, the best feathers inside the
pillows. It is poetry on wheels, and Lord Byron himself could not write it better. Monsieur, prepare
yourself. In one hour, I will meet you on the platform of the Orient Express.
MRS. HUBBARD (American accent)
Mrs. Helen Caroline Peabody-Wolfson-Van Pelt-Hubbard, if you please, from the beautiful garden state
of Minnesota. Mr. Peabody, my first husband, was a very good soul but the poor man had no talent for
longevity, and I shouldn’t say poor because he did very nicely for himself, thank you very much. My
second husband was a Mr. Wolfson who I loved dearly, but he loved a lot of women and so I traded up
and got a Van Pelt, but I caught him in bed with that redhead from the Waldorf who did his nails. Then
at last I found Mr. Hubbard and I call him my little white knight for saving me from a life of bridge games
and watery cocktails at the Minneapolis Country Club.
RATCHETT (American accent)
Mr. Poirot, I’d like to discuss that proposition I mentioned. I want you to take on a job for me because
I’m talkin’ big money here. I have an enemy. I’ve been getting some threatening letters lately and I want
an extra pair of eyes to do some snoopin’ around. And that’s what you do, am I right? Snoopin’? Of
course I can take care of myself but I’ll pay you five thousand dollars. How does that sound?
GRETA (Swedish accent)
I have to confess to you Princess, that I am not liking trains since I am little girl. They are feeling very
tight to me, like clothing that is made wrong size. I am also not liking the strangers and the clickety-
clackety. But ve vill be sitting next to each other, ja? That part is good. In Africa once I am on a train and
there is noise and crying and animals. And I look up from my book and sitting there next to me, right on
the seat, is a very old goat! Is true. Old goat! He is like my companion. And on this trip that we are taking
together right now, I think it will not be so different, ja?
MRS. HUBBARD (American accent)
There was a man in my room! He ran off! I’m sure of it! He ducked into one of the compartments or
something! I don’t know. I tell you I was lying there in my bed, dead to the world, and I open my eyes
and I see this man going out the door. And he’s wearing a uniform. One second he was there and then
he was gone. He was like a phantom! And I wasn’t dreaming. I know when I’m dreaming! My door was
locked, but people have keys, don’t they? He could have strangled me in my bed, or shot me or
BOUC (Belgian accent)
Just think what a Yugoslavian police inquiry would do to my company! People would say “oh no, I cannot
travel on the Orient Express, I could be murdered in my bed!” and our sales would suffer and I would
lose my clients! Only you can solve this. You are a magician, I have seen you work! You listen, you look,
you pester, you make yourself a pain in the backside, then suddenly poof!, the case is solved like that!
The Yugoslavian Police Department? They are like the Three Stooges in the movie house. They poke
each other in the eyes by accident! Please old friend, say you’ll take the case and find the murderer
before the police arrive.
POIROT (Belgian accent)
A young girl named Daisy Armstrong was kidnapped from her home in Long Island, New York. The
ransom was set at two hundred thousand dollars and it was paid. But Daisy was not returned to her
parents. Three days later, they found the little girl – dead, murdered – in the woods not far away from
her home. The police caught the man who did it but he had ties to organized crime and they got him off
by changing the evidence. He would have been lynched if he had been found by the public, but he gave
them the slip and disappeared. Mr. MacQueen said that Ratchett was fleeing from something in America
and that he succeeded until the letters began arriving. It is clear that Samuel Ratchett’s real name is
Bruno Cassetti, the man who murdered little Daisy Armstrong.
PRINCESS (Russian accent)
No, my dear, his name is Bruno Cassetti, and what I pray is that his soul is damned and that he burns in
hell for all eternity. He murdered a little girl named Daisy Armstrong and her grandmother is my dearest
friend. You know her as the actress Linda Arden. And when her five year old granddaughter was
murdered by this monster Cassetti, it took her years to recover, indeed she has not yet recovered! And it
wasn’t just that sweet little girl that was taken from us. First little Daisy, and then her mother, who was
pregnant, died in childbirth, and the baby died too. And the little girl’s father, Colonel Armstrong, who
could not live with what happened and ended his own life. There is no forgiveness in a case like this.
That Mr. Cassetti should have been flogged to death and his remains cut up and thrown onto a rubbish
MACQUEEN (American accent)
My father was the District Attorney for the state of New York and he brought the case against that …
son of a bitch. I’m sorry, but you have no idea what he did to that family. And they were so kind to me.
And there was a governess and a baby nurse, and then poor Suzanne. She was a French housemaid – she
came from Paris – and my father’s office thought she might be implicated, and … and she was so
distraught from the accusations that she – she killed herself. Only it turned out that she was innocent.
My father was shattered. He never recovered.
POIROT (Belgian accent)
Every time I find a piece of the puzzle, there is a suspect who has an alibi. Colonel Arbuthnot? He could
have a grudge against Cassetti from a business dealing – but then MacQueen gives him an alibi from 12
to 2, they are chatting on the Observation Deck! What about Miss Ohlssohn? She is strange, there is
something not right about her – but she swears that she and Miss Debenham are up all night chattering
in the room they are sharing. And so it goes with Mrs. Hubbard and the Princess and now Miss
Debenham is shot and I am out of suspects!
MARY (British accent)
I only caught a glimpse of him. He was in a kind of uniform. But I may have imagined it. I woke up this
morning feeling disoriented, as though I’d been drugged or something, and I had this splitting headache.
So I looked through my suitcase for some aspirin, but I didn’t have any. So then I stumbled out of the
room and I saw that Mrs. Hubbard’s door was ajar. I called to her but she wasn’t there and then – I know
I shouldn’t have – but I went into her room. My head was splitting open by this time and I wasn’t
thinking straight – so I looked for some aspirin in Mrs. Hubbard’s makeup bag. And there was this knife
and it was covered with blood! I was frightened when I saw the knife and I must have backed into Mr.
Ratchett’s room, and then I turned and saw the body on the bed with all the blood and the wounds, and
I – I screamed, and then I saw the man and the gun and that’s all I remember!
ARBUTHNOT (Scottish accent)
I’m married! All right?! I’m in the process of getting a divorce – which I deserve because my wife is
seeing another man – but I’ll lose my case in court if it’s known that I’m seeing a woman socially. When
the divorce is behind us we can stop hiding, which is why we’ve been trying to keep things private, no
thanks to you! Some of us have emotions, Poirot! I’m sure you’d sacrifice your own mother if it led you
to one of your damn solutions, and I don’t think you know what the hell you’re doing.
COUNTESS (Hungarian accent)
But I didn’t kill him! I should have but I didn’t! I didn’t even know who he was until you discovered it. But
then I realized that if you knew who I was, you would think that I killed him because he was a
blackmailer. And a swine! And the murderer of a darling, sweet, innocent, child who deserved to live!
It’s the truth, I swear to God! But I’ll tell you this; if I had known who he was – that he was Bruno Cassetti
– the man who stole two of the people I loved most in this world – I would have pushed the dagger
through his chest myself, and believe me, no other woulds would have been necessary!